Tracy’s thoughts on The Great British Bake Off

Hi Emma,

I was watching that Great British Bake Off program with Mum and Gran the other night. I know, but it was something to do while my hair colour set. I was just dozing off when that Mary Berry  mentioned soggy bottoms and Mum and Gran fell about like a couple of schoolgirls who just heard the word Willy for the first time. Okay, I’ll admit it was mildly amusing when she first said it all those years ago, but anyone would think Monty Python had come up with a new joke the way those two were rolling about. When the show was over Mum gave a big, aaaaah, and proclaimed that Mary Berry was the Queen of Tarts. Now, I know mum’s her biggest fan but that wasn’t a very nice thing to say, was it? I haven’t seen anything about her in the Sun or the Express and you’d think if she was putting it about at her age it would have been exposed by now. Maybe she’s paying them off with sticky buns or something. I would never have guessed, she looks so nice on the telly. Anyway, I argued with mum because the Queen of Tarts title belongs to Olivia, Mary Berry couldn’t get close to that trollop.

Going back to the Bake Off, that Paul Hollywood is a bit of alright for an old bloke isn’t he? Mum reckons he’s the Bread King. I have to admit, I wouldn’t mind him spreading me over a hot worktop while he kneaded my baps.

Ooh, I’m feeling all funny now. Time for Jessica to come out to play I think.

See you later, Emma

Tracy Buzzing off.

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