Here it is, the blurb from the back cover of the new Tracy book. It is too long for the paperback version but this is pretty much what you’ll see on Amazon when the book is released.
When opportunity knocks, make sure you’re waiting in the hallway, wearing lippy and a short skirt.
Outraged at being replaced by a dumb terminal at the office, Tracy teams up with über-iffy agent, Shayne Slider, for an assault on the bottom end of the celebrity market. Despite being in demand by the likes of Pets and Vets magazine and Asda’s in-store promotions, Tracy still finds time to inbox her best friend, Emma, with all the latest gossip.
Whether she’s appearing as Santa’s elf at the Co-op Christmas Grotto or Mary from the Dairy in a Bread and Spread promotion, Tracy keeps her all-seeing eye on the intimate doings of her friends and family. There’s her dodgy dad who nicks vegetables by the ton; her mum, who has a thing for the handyman; and her gran, who claims to have advised Mrs Thatcher over the miners’ strike. Tracy keeps us up to date on Spotty Irene, still searching for a cure for her pimply phizog and explains why ‘that tart’, Olivia, suddenly developed a bandy-legged walk.
Juicier than a vat of crushed grapes. Fruitier than a ten gallon fruit shoot. Spicier than an Istanbul market trader’s flip-flop. Tracy’s Celebrity Hot Mail is just the thing for when only a good gossip will do.